I Am a Real Man!

By wordpress - Last updated: Wednesday, September 22, 2010 - Save & Share - Leave a Comment

While you chuckle about all the different ways CNN could spin that headline, I’ll continue with an explanation. When my now-wife and I announced our plans to be married to her mother, Lila, we were sitting on the back porch at Lila’s house. As usual, Lila was not sitting. She started fiddling with her plants and decided she needed to do some pruning. She turned to me and said, “Let me borrow your pocket knife.” Well, I didn’t have a pocket knife! She looked at me with disgust and in a “shocked disbelief” tone said, “You don’t carry a POCKET knife?!” I didn’t know enough to be embarrassed. She huffed off to the kitchen and came back with a KITCHEN knife and just to make sure I understood my little faux pas she said, “A real man carries a knife,” in a tone your mother might have used when she said “Gentlemen do not burp at the table.” On the next gift giving occasion, she gave me a knife.

Well, my dear departed Lila Belle, you’ll be glad to know I now carry a knife. (Dear airport security person: rest assured I only carry a knife when I’m in the garden. If I’m not wearing overalls or really dirty pants, you can be sure I do not have a knife on me.) What innocence we’ve lost! In a time when six year old boys are expelled for bringing toy soldiers to school, it must be really strange to hear someone say, “A real man carries a knife.” Lila presented me with a couple more pocket knives over the years just to make sure my manhood remained intact; I think this is one of them.You need a pocket knife in the garden

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