It’s Time to Buy Azaleas?

By wordpress - Last updated: Tuesday, August 17, 2010 - Save & Share - Leave a Comment

My wife loves azaleas and, for thirty plus years, I’ve been wanting to get some for her. But when I go to the store I’m shocked at what they want for those plants. This year I decided to do it no matter what. I did a little research and found out that fall is actually a great time to plant azaleas, so I thought I would get a couple of plants and see how it goes. Imagine my surprise when I get there and they’re on the discounted rack. Apparently, no one wants to plant azaleas in the fall!

The reasoning I’ve heard for planting azaleas in the spring is that you can’t tell what you’re going to get until they’re in bloom. So you buy the plant with all its pretty little flowers, you put it in the ground and then all the flowers die. Doesn’t make sense, does it? Anyway, because no one is buying, here are two plants marked down more than 50%. Too bad my wife reads my blog, I could get bonus points if she thought I splurged and bought her some prime azaleas. She’d probably start wondering what I’ve done wrong. Oh well, maybe it will count for something anyway. So, for four bucks and eight bucks I’m now the proud owner of two reddish looking azaleas. One had blooms on it with no tag; the other had a picture, but no flowers, but it claimed it bloomed in the fall. Maybe not. I want reddish flowers so, hopefully, the one with the tag actually has an image of what I’m going to get.

I probably haven’t mentioned that I’m cheap; I can save the four bucks! After reading a bit, I found that this is the best time of year to propagate azaleas. ”It’s easy,” they say. There were several methods that I found, but I opted for the simplest. Bend some twigs down, cover with dirt, and put a rock on top to hold them down. I can do that. You can see my handy work in the image to the right. After transplanting into larger pots, I put them in a lightly shaded spot. That was easy!

Azalea plantNot so fast there, buster. Did you know that it is technicaly illegal to do what I just did? I verified it! However it’s done, companies can get a patent so that when you buy that plant, you’re buying a license to view the plant but you may not allow it to procreate. An attorney’s wording may be a little different. You think I’m making this up, don’t you? I’m serious! If my little rock method works, I’m supposed to pay a royalty to an unmentioned company. Bill Gates, do you see what you started? Or is it the other way around? Maybe Bill Gates’ dad wanted him to plant some azaleas when he was a kid and, being the lazy programmer type, he spent hours researching how to get out of five minutes of work. Aha! It’s illegal! From there it’s a short leap to ”I wonder if I can do that with software.” Whatever! I’m not going to worry about it, but if some day my blog just stops, you’ll know what happened. The azalea police got me.

I wonder where you’re supposed to find condoms for azaleas.

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